PLENTY TO SHOUT ABOUT

Shelf Panthers 1 Rastrick 7

Radical changes are being proposed to football’s scoring system. The Shelf Panthers Matchblog can exclusively reveal that the sport’s world governing body, FIFA, is considering replacing the current method – based on goals – with a new one based on decibels.

If the plan gets the go-ahead, the Panthers are widely tipped for a place in the Premier League, thanks to the phenomenal vocal cords of coaches Tony Williams and Lee Marsh. The pair – whose skills have been honed through long years of bellowing at new recruits and shouting over the whine of faulty bus engines - put on another tonsil-busting display, with one cry of “Well in, Scotty” reportedly heard as far away as Cleckheaton.

Another proposal being considered by FIFA is to award teams points for making the ball ricochet at high speed off the referee’s backside – a feat which won Luke the loudest cheer of this match.

When the teams met earlier in the season, Rastrick hammered the Panthers 10-2, so they can take heart from a battling performance which restricted their higher-placed opponents to a paltry seven goals this time round.

With William and Dylan unavailable, and Scott playing despite a foot injury picked up in training the previous day, it was always going to be tough for Shelf against physically strong opponents.

The home side matched Rastrick for the first ten minutes, despite playing up the slope, but were then hit by a three-goal salvo in the space of five minutes. Shelf rallied again, though, and a shot across the face of goal from Man of the Match Sam Cox went agonisingly wide before the away side made it 4-0 at half time.

The Panthers adopted a shoot-on-sight policy in the second half. Tom tested the keeper with two well-struck long-range free kicks and Ryan crashed the ball against a post.

But, as Rastrick found the net three more times, Shelf’s one consolation was a 43rd minute goal from top scorer Tobias, who took his chance coolly after being put through by Ryan.

The coaches are aiming to work on the team’s heading skills on the parade ground – sorry, training ground – next week. Anyone who’s planning on ducking out of headers is advised to bring ear-plugs.